Grilled what? Pirates decide to BBQ a few Precious Things

The Ancient Wood Block Print that has passed down from one leader of the Ninja Clan to the next for over a thousand years has been stolen and allegedly roasted next to split pig.

Captain Flint swears no member of his crew would bother with such things.  Said Flint, “If we’re going to steal something from those Kit-Kats we’re not going to burn it.  We’re going to trade it for something good.  Like those rum filled chocolates or one of them sleep number things.”

Sherlock Prime has offered to investigate.

AGdR designers hate this one simple trick more than Nazi ghosts

When the HQ has a low number timer card attached to it, fly in with the Sopwith Camel and you are sure to win every single time.**

**The AGdR Game Designers would like it known that they do not hate this “trick” they purposely designed the game to function this way.  And they would like to add that idea any card would allow to win anything every single time is completely ridiculous and absolutely not true.***

***The AGdR Marketing Department would like it known that the ADdR Game Designers couldn’t find prom dates.

Face Off helps you lose weight and feel better.

First it is very difficult to play Face Off and eat unhealthy food at the same time.

Second when you play A Training Montage it motivates your work out.  And you get a jolt of fat burning adrenaline at the start of each turn because you’re winning.

Thus when you play Face Off, you lose weight.  And when you lose weight, you feel better.

So play Face Off three days a week and in six to eight weeks you’ll be a whole new you.**

 

**The AGdR Legal Department would like to completely disavow the entirety of this post.  There is no part of it that is correct or accurate.  The Luc Besson film Lucy is more Factual.***

***The AGdR Marketing Department would like to invite the AGdR Legal Department to join the AGdR Game Designers at the bottom of Lake Pontchartrain.

This Pirate stepped up to a Cannon in real life, then OMG!

Anne Bonny, in order to save the life of her lover and partner Jack Rackham, stepped in front of a cannon blast…AND LIVED.  According to legend her leather vest was so studded with Grape Shot it served as armor for the rest of Anne’s pirate days.

In other news Jack had to the dishes for the rest of his life –he kind of owed her.

You won’t believe how Doc Holiday takes Mutton-Gate to whole new level!

Doc Holiday was waxing rhapsodic as the local Cowboy watering hole.  He began politely enough, though there have been a hint of sarcasm underneath his drunken slur, “Why Flint, why Gomen, does this mean we’re all not friends anymore? You know, if I thought you weren’t my friend… I just don’t think I could bear it!”  Then while caressing his holstered revolver with the gentleness of a new lover a gleam shone from his suddenly sharp eyes.  “If you weren’t my friend, we just might have to play for blood the next time we play.”

He chuckled then added, “The truth is there is no difference between Pirates and Ninjas.  They are all reckless, dishonorable thieves.  And not the good kind.  I calculate we’ll all be better off once their like has been vanquished.”