“Read a Book!” Flint yelled as he emerged from a 1978 Trans Am so finely polished it was actually cool again. “The last Pirate movie made what? A hundred million pounds in like two hours. What’d the last Ninja movie make? No one knows because they haven’t made one since the eighties. So tell that little Rice Farmer to take her cute little pony back to the fields and leave Face Off to the Big Boys.”